I'm dying.

Or so my father thinks. But I guess we all are, aren't we?

If we all just tried being a pessimistic for a moment, aren't we all dying? I mean, the day you are born, yes you have begun to live, but at the same time you have begun to die.

It all sounds so morbid and horrible, but it is so right and too true.

We live to die. What is life? To live, then die. We are all dying, as well as we are all living. The statement "Oh look, that poor man is dying." We all are hypocrite. Everyone's a hypocrite, I have realized this, sad it is, isn't?

My father believes I am dying. But I guess he means I'm sick. We're all sick. But I guess I'm different. If it was possible I have Sutton's disease. A non-stop string of canker sores to the mouth. Considering I can only eat on one side of my mouth to begin with, they make my eating harder than it should be.

I can't even eat properly anymore. I can't chew, and hot liquids burn the open sores. To be healthy I'd have to consume almost 2000 calories in cold drinks. And none of them can contain lots of salt. Maybe I screwed myself over. Probably.

My father believes I get these because of the lack of meat I eat. Well, I can't stand hamburgers, and that is the only type of meat I will not eat. But, if my family is aware of this, why do they still decide to have them over 2 times a week, who is helping who? They complain that I don't eat properly, maybe they should feed their own children properly.

Today I was basically shot down because I refused to eat canned sugar coated fruit on top of ice cream. And then insulted because I should eat that, because it's good for me. A few hours before that I was told that I ate too much sugar. Can anyone understand how fucked up that is?

Anorexia is a curse, not a disease.