Shut up

All my thoughts. Shut up. Shut up so I can hear what I am really thinking.

I want to make myself clear, if to no one, but myself. I'd like to believe I know what I'm doing, and where I plan on going. Truth is, all the voices scream in protest. I don't want what I need. I need to loved and respected. But I don't want to be. Because then, my life would fall flat of any kind of sculpting it has formed. I want to rebel against myself.

Someone kill me.

Bi polar my thoughts are. I'd like to think I know myself. But no one really knows who they are. Why is that? Somehow we all manage to keep secrets from ourselves. Before you read on, it's not your first guess from before. This is supposed to be a deep emotion.

No one can make anyone else complete. For all those times people have said "You complete me" Are you a puzzle? A test? Can you be completed by a person? No. But you can complete yourself. Self actualization.

It is said that only 2 percent of the whole population reaches their "self actualization" That is bullshit.

Everyone and anyone can. There are no "special" people who have truly completed themselves and their lives to the fullest. Everyone is special and you better believe it. You are different, unique and no one can tell you probably won't ever be complete. 2 percent of what? No, that is wrong, I want to prove Maslow wrong, he is wrong and a fucking retard. I hate him. I loathe his outlook on life. He is wrong. So wrong in tears of dying frustration.

Maybe only 2 percent of people are truly happy. But I refuse to believe that. I am happy. I know I am happy. I am young, I will cry, resist against everything and anything. But I will continue to be happy. Maybe I am happy and completely content where I am. Maybe I have reached my self actualization. Maybe everyone has it, and all you have to do is look.

No one will ever be able to tell me I can't do something or be someone. I am who I am, deal with it. One day, someone will listen to me. And that someone will be happy for once. They can be anyone, anything, to the fullest. Everyone can be everything, all they need is a chance.

Some say love is not for sinners, I believe that isn't true.

Everyone deserves a chance. A chance to be themselves. This is where I will get my chance.

These are the words of my diary, plastered out for the whole world to read. For anyone to see. But's fine, because I want you to read my words, to understand. Maybe not understand completely, but get an idea. I need to get a real diary, my last one had "I LOVE CHAD" written all in it. Why did "love" Chad again? I will never know. You have got to love being young and naive. I can't love someone I don't know. I can't even love some people I know. Someone people, if they are too known, you can't love them.

It's days like these that I wonder where my words came from. I'd like to say something, just to take everyones pain away. I can't say I love you. That I will care for you. That I can hold you when you cry.

All I can say is that happiness is in you, find it.